Received: by dot.crosswinds.net (mbox republican) (with Cubic Circle's cucipop (v1.31 1998/05/13) Tue Nov 2 20:03:57 1999) X-From_: owner-apecalert-l@envirolink.org Tue Nov 2 04:44:40 1999 Return-Path: Received: from envirolink.org (manatee.envirolink.org [208.195.208.7]) by dot.crosswinds.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id EAA44778 for ; Tue, 2 Nov 1999 04:44:39 -0500 (EST) (envelope-from owner-apecalert-l@envirolink.org) Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by envirolink.org (8.8.7/8.8.7) with SMTP id EAA04622; Tue, 2 Nov 1999 04:33:54 -0500 (EST) Received: from gravity.physics.ubc.ca (gravity.physics.ubc.ca [142.103.234.14]) by envirolink.org (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id EAA04605 for ; Tue, 2 Nov 1999 04:33:39 -0500 (EST) Received: from localhost (oppenh@localhost) by gravity.physics.ubc.ca (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id BAA11924; Tue, 2 Nov 1999 01:34:53 -0800 X-Authentication-Warning: gravity.physics.ubc.ca: oppenh owned process doing -bs Date: Tue, 2 Nov 1999 01:34:52 -0800 (PST) From: Jonathan Oppenheim X-Sender: oppenh@gravity To: apecalert-l@envirolink.org Subject: a pompous letter to commission counsel Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Reply-To: apecalert-l@envirolink.org Sender: owner-apecalert-l@envirolink.org X-Listprocessor-Version: 8.2.07 -- ListProc(tm) by CREN To: Marvin Storrow, Q.C. cc: all parties via email Dear Marv, I have by now read my colleagues comments expressing their concern regarding your attendance at the Prime Minister's fundraising dinner in Vancouver. I entirely disagree with their remarks, and feel that your attendance at the dinner was completely appropriate. How else is one to influence government policy and secure lucrative contracts? Since bribery is legal in this country, it is wholly appropriate that your firm take advantage of it. For those who can afford it, a $500 a plate dinner is a wonderful opportunity to align oneself with those in power. To those who suggest that your attendance raises concerns about bias and the politicization of the APEC Hearing, I remind them that there has always been a double standard when it comes to the Big Cheese - your attendance at his fundraiser hardly changes that. Commission Counsel has been timid from the very beginning, so why even pretend to be neutral. Your attendance at a fundraising dinner for the Big Cheese is at best funny and ironic - hardly anything to get irate about. This does not mean that I do not have some serious reservations about your attendance at the fundraiser. I am completely galled that you did not choose to invite me as your dinner companion. I too would have loved to quaff Champagne and nibble delicious bits of smoked salmon on crackers with Jean's lively guests. I too would have loved to be entertained by the Prime Minister's witty APEC jokes. Surely you could have had the decency to invite me to sit at your table. You know what a delightful dining companion I can be. Instead I had to hang out with a bunch of smelly hippies and bored police outside the Prime Minister's hotel. Hardly an enjoyable evening by anyone's standard. A further concern is your statement that you attended the dinner because you have an interest in world affairs. This really does show bad judgment. Listening to the Prime Minister talk about world affairs is like listening to the Pope deliver a lecture on cunnilingus. He may know the correct latin phraseology, but he certainly has little knowledge of the finer points. I accept your attendance for what it is - a small bribe to the Prime Minister - nothing more, nothing less. Finally, I feel obliged to remind you of the APEC Curse. On the Halloween before the APEC Summit, members of the group Student Bodies Against APEC cast a hex on the Museum of MisAnthropology, and since then, a number of poor souls have been felled by mysterious circumstances: "Chatty Andy" Scott General Suharto Chris Considine, Former Commission Counsel and Honorary Counsel to the Kingdom of Nepal Terry Milewsky Commissioners Gerald Morin, Vina Starr and John Wright Please be careful. Pompously yours, Jonathan Oppenheim Self-Appointed Bombastic Fool for the Forces of Light